Episode 1.1

In which the Stonemason’s are offered free seats for their efforts.

Sounds of a busy street in London’s East end. Hawkers and peddlers, horses hooves and the creak of wagons. The sound of a hammer tapping against stone.

HOBNOB: Come on son, put some effort into it. This ladder wont stay up on its own you know. Hold it tight boy.

CHARLIE: Instead of replying, Charlie grunts in the manner of a simpleton

HOBNOB: Keep your foot on the rung.

CHARLIE: Charlie’s Da!

HOBNOB: Because you know what I think Charlie. I think God cursed us the day we had you. I look at you and your bloated forehead and your dribble and I want to cry Charlie, I want to cry. 

CHARLIE: Ha!

HOBNOB: Come on son, we’ve got the business to think about eh? People are laughing behind my back. People are laughing at us.

CHARLIE: Bursts out laughing and Hobnob sighs 

HOBNOB: Keep the ladder still you wretch. Ah, Mr Prest.

Enter Prest

PREST: Hallo Hobnob. How is the handy work coming along? Ah, it looks wonderful. If only my uncle could have seen me now. Did you know he was a showman out in India during the 40’s? Duncan knew him well before he died; they were great friends you know. Uncle even saved his life once. Hallo! This must be your son. 

HOBNOB: That’s right Mr Prest, say hello Charlie.

CHARLIE: Hullo Mrs Breast.

PREST: Pleased to meet you lad. Gadzooks! That queue is certainly building up, I’ll have to get Elijah to open up soon before they get rowdy. I say, why don’t you and Charlie come and watch the show on the house? Only fair after all the work you two have put in. What do you say Charlie?

CHARLIE: Grunts

PREST: That’s my lad.

HOBNOB: That’s a kind offer Mr Prest, but there is the small matter of payment. This boy doesn’t survive on thin air. Between you and me he’s a bit of a handful. We took him to the zoo last week. We’d just gone through the reptile house and Charlie here drops his breeches and plops a weasel right there on the floor. He tried to feed it to a camel but the zookeeper chucked us out.

PREST: Still, I’m sure he didn’t mean to upset anyone. Tell you what; Go and find Duncan after the show. He’s more of the financial body around here. 

HOBNOB: Will do. Thank you kindly Mr Prest.

PREST: And now I must run along and tell the others to make ready. The opening night of the House, I am quite the nervous wreck.

KEG: Ah, Prest, do you have a moment? I’ve got a new melody for Elijah’s…

PREST: Not now Keg, have you seen Duncan?

KEG: In his room.

Prest knocks on Duncan’s door. A sound of whipping comes from the inside.

DUNCAN: What!

PREST: Duncan, you should see the queue outside. It goes all the way up to the Mott and Merkin! Can I come in?

DUNCAN: Do you have to? (Whipping sound is heard again and a slight feminine moan)

PREST: I need to talk to you. The show starts in a few minutes. 

DUNCAN: (A sucking noise and a giggle can be heard before the door creaks open) Make it quick.

PREST: Well, the signs finished. The stage is ready. Keg says he has a new melody for Elijah’s act and Gaff’s just finished cleaning the aisle.

DUNCAN: Not bad Prest, not bad at all. Is the Great Badoochi all fired up and ready to go?

PREST: As ready as can be. 

DUNCAN: You’d better get out front then. Welcome the punters.

PREST: I will, but first a toast! To the brick lane theatre company and all who sail with her.

DUNCAN: It ain’t a bleedin’ boat you albino twerp. Pass the Rum.

(The sound of two glasses being poured and Duncan breathing heavily)

PREST: To the House!

DUNCAN: To the house. Now be a good lad and don’t keep the punters waiting.

PREST: I’m going Duncan, I’m going.

(Sound of the door opening and closing and a cupboard door squeaking open followed by a low chuckle from Duncan)

DUNCAN: Right, Moll, where were we?

(giggle)